Can I speak on singleness?
Do y’all want to hear one of my many thoughts on this massive matter.
Being a Christian is hard. Being single is hard. Being a female is hard. Being a single female Christian is a struggle!!! Oh and let’s not even talk about the stigmas, biases, insecurities, race, ethnicity, and culture bring into the mix. As the years go by and I get closer to menopause, my content-ness with living life as a single person has waxed and waned. Some months I’m all for the waiting and being prepared and made whole for my man of God like Esther or Ruth, while other months I’m like Sarai, trying to take matters into my own hands; because though I “trust” and “believe” God has someone in store for me, I don’t have the patience to wait till the trumpets roar. Some days I’m content and some days my soul aches for my husband.
I recently read Isaiah 54:5: for your Maker is your husband. Though to some this may seem really strange, but right off the bat I suddenly envisioned myself being married to God. I took this small part of scripture literally and started to imagine how I would act with my husband and began to apply it to how I would (should) with God. First thing in the morning I would roll over and squeeze the heck out of him, hold onto him tightly not wanting to let him go. The first person I would want to talk to in the morning is my husband.
I imagined myself at work, the person I would quickly look through my phone to see if they texted me would be my husband. When I go on my break and have time to check in on someone: who’s the first number I would call? My husband’s! On my way home from work, who might I want to spend my car ride conversing with? My boo! When I get home and I want to talk about how my day went and/or before I fall asleep and I just want to engage in small talk with, who is that person who is going to listen to all I have to say and who is the person who I would even want to use up all my energy talking with? MY HUSBAND!
In a matter of seconds, I realized that is what God was revealing to me. The way in which my mind would be consumed with my man is the same way I should (in real time) be consumed with God. I should want to talk to Him about everything. Lean into Him all the time. Always checking in and always communicating with Him. Now, if you’re not that type of person where you love hard or your love language isn’t quality time or words of affirmation then read into this scripture how you will. But I know when I’m gifted with my man of God that I will be yoked to him like an egg. What feat it’ll be to separate me from Him. My thoughts entangled with his love.
Understanding this passage in this way, brought another layer of comfort and guidance to my single season. It also initiated me to pray this prayer: God your word says that my maker is my husband. You are my maker, therefore you are my husband; help me to always seek your presence and fill me with more of a desire to spend time with You, to please You, to serve You. Please manifest Yourself into my physical husband when the appointed time has come. I don’t want anything less. Amen.
“For you will forget the shame of your youth, and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. For your maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name;”
Isaiah 54:4 NKJV